Monday, April 9, 2018

intensity passion resolution forgiveness
i have heard that forgiveness is actually for yourself
is everything?
talking to one of my favorites ladies and she always makes me feel like
i hung the moon. with her of course, together it was blue and full and sad
and funny and beyond understanding. i think we look at each other like that.
like we can see that there is nothing that we really know. but we will continue
to pretend that we do. and in turn, life is a comedy. she says oh i always felt like
you had an old soul. maybe because i don't pretend. maybe she just knows i like
that shit. she says oh your cheekbones, you are just like katharine hepburn. and
it makes me laugh of course because c'mon. that is something you say to someone
you love though and you probably believe it. truth is, i needed it. i think we all
need people to truly believe in us. blindly, wholeheartedly even in a weird experimental
phase, say 'oh yes, this is great. you are amazing,' and maybe that means that the quest
for validation never ends. like people need these kind of parental figures orbiting their life
making sure they know they are the stars and the moon at all different phases. it's like most
people discard their first family in some sense or the other and then pickup another mother
along the way. a brother, a sister. someone that lives in love and trust and support. someone
that is inspired or inspired by. a match from the cosmos that just appears like those spring blooms
popping up in the trees. consistently, magically, systematically, perfectly aligned. maybe i'm thinking too much. happens. or maybe everyone else is not thinking enough. the more i go the less i know and the more it goes the more i have to say something. i will always be looking for others that are also looking for meaning, connection, understanding and MEANING. that's just the way it goes.

Monday, March 26, 2018

motions baby, motions.
i don't wanna be absent in any sense. here and now. able to see, bleed, feel. to absorb the good and the bad and look at it square in the eye. face the day when news that might take out your feet or bring you to the dirt and understand how to fold into someone else or if nothing else, fold into yourself. to listen with full focus. to listen to feedback and conflict and critique and views that differ. to speak without extras. to speak without ripping, tearing or belittling. to open eyes and open heart. we are all scared and sad and broken here and when but the most beautiful thing remains an open heart. the right intention. the things we don't always see but the way they add up to and become their own animal of love. people do change. people can evolve. everything is a choice. we are new every day.
e v o l v e
e  v   o   l   v   e
e    o   v    l    v    e
o     e     v     l    v     e
o      e       l      v      v       e
o       l       e       v       v       e
l           o           v          e

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

what do you need honey
what do you need
what do you need
i broke my arm honey
broke it in two
like the day i lost you
what do you see honey
what do you see
what do you see
i got nothing here
nothing to see
nothing for you
i'm going to mexico, baby
i'm turning my back
mexico city, not coming back
i wonder about you darlin
i wonder about you 
nothing to do
nothing to do
hope is a verb baby
i play it like that
i play it so much
life is a deck of cards
i play it like that 
not coming back

Monday, January 22, 2018

i heard somewhere that people often have a
hard time sleeping because they aren't really
done processing everything that happened that
day and i believe that

lately i wake up around 3 or 4 am and that's it
my brain clicks on, turning corners and circles
about everything about everything

i'm afraid that's just an anxious mind at rest
always wondering, always questioning, always

most of the time, some of the time, that can be
a really positive and motivating thing
other times i can spin into the corner or a
conversation had ten years ago and still feel
something far from pleasant, similar to
whatever it was in that particular moment.
and it's often painful and self-sabotaging
and unkind to my heart and soul.

who teaches you that?
what pattern decides to stick around and play that game?

i take a deep breathe and vow to let it all out
have you been honest?
have you been fair?
have you been kind?
have you been strong and sincere?

keep in mind the people that don't like you, never will
and they just aren't your people anyway
keep in mind there is always tomorrow
keep in mind each day is a rebirth
take it in stride, take it step by step
thank someone daily
go out of your way
exercise something that is uncomfortable to you
even if you try one of these things, take it as a win
ultimately we are all lucky weird masses of stars
trying to figure it all out all the time
i get into my car turn up the music and thank god
for safety, the morning sun and a healthy frame of mind

Saturday, January 20, 2018

and holy shit this song kicks my ass

kissed a frog the other day and found didn't want it to last

life is a weird train with no telling when you'll stop or pass

growing older and more careful and happier without

what ya thought ya needed in your past

let 'em spin baby girl, let 'em scatter in the wind

intensity passion resolution forgiveness i have heard that forgiveness is actually for yourself is everything? talking to one of my fav...